Recently I’ve been having some difficulties with doctors.
Modern Medicine
After I managed to totally avoid the local clinic in my small town in northern Ontario, Canada for about a year and a half, my family doctor permanently moved away and as a result, for now I’m stuck with locum doctors again. Instead of simply sending a note to the clinic, asking for my prescriptions to be renewed, I’ve been forced to see three locum doctors in the past four months and combined, they still haven’t managed to renew all of my various prescriptions!
I can’t avoid these appointments because I’m told I need the prescriptions but I do resent them, as would any reasonable person, asked to hang around a disease-ridden environment for no good reason.
Although I’ve been ordered not to drive and indeed, I no longer even own a vehicle, they seem determined to force me to travel four hours in horrendous weather over twisty, turning, icy, dangerous roads in each direction to see a cardiologist in the closest major city.
Doctors really do hate having sick people as patients and I had a major heart attack a few years ago. The doctors all seem to be afraid I’m going to imminently die on their watch and their solution is to pass me on to someone else, even though I’ve made it clear, in very plain English, I simply don’t care. I have a big, red D.N.R. (Do Not Resuscitate) on the front of my chart.
The Price Of Living In Paradise
Like ‘computer experts’ who solve all Windoze problems by simply formatting and re-installing Windoze, all of these general practitioners seem to think treating patients means referring them to specialists. Of course, we have no specialists in our very small town in the middle of nowhere and while I have done ‘telehealth’ sessions with both a cardiologist and a stomach specialist over an Internet connection, specialists seem to have an endless number of machines and tests available to them. When I was in their clutches, I was scheduled for endless tests or appointments, four hours away from where I live.
I quit. I ‘fired’ my specialists, refused to constantly drive or be driven and I refused any more telehealth sessions.
My recently departed family doctor didn’t really accept this attitude but eventually she acceded to my wishes. Now I have go through it all again and again with locums, who definitely don’t know me or my history and who are either fresh out of school and paying off their student loans or they’re old retired doctors, long used to doing nothing but collecting appointment fees. They get paid ridiculously large amounts to travel to northern Ontario for a week or a month. We’re under-serviced up here, which means we don’t have very many doctors.
They Just Aren’t Much Help Sometimes
Much like the financial sector, it turns out the worst thing about socialized medicine isn’t government interference, it’s the opposite. The doctors all want to live in big cities, near state-of-the-art hospitals and near specialists for everything. With few exceptions, once they’re forced to do what we all assume doctors are paid to do, they disappear like ghosts into the cities.
The last locum seemed to be a moron doctor and while he had a lot of strict, personal policies against doing much of anything, including renewing some longstanding prescriptions, he did freak out at my blood pressure and doubled one of my medications on the spot. Although I have absolutely no faith in this guy, I’m following his orders. As a result, I don’t feel so good these days.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure I’m OK and I’m certain I’d still be happy and healthy if I was under the care of my former, caring physician.
I do not like thee, Doctor Fell,
The reason why, I cannot tell;
But this alone I know full well,
I do not like thee, Doctor Fell.
~Thomas Brown (Sorry, Thomas, I slightly changed this wee poem to make it better.)
Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Fucking Xmas!
